#peoplepleaserproblems

I would like to consider myself a fairly laid-back person. I would also like to think that I forgive easy, and a lot of the time, give people way too many chances. While, I believe in being a forgiving person, there comes a point, when you just become the person people walk on, because they know they can do you wrong and you'll forgive them later. Where do you draw the line? When do you say enough is enough?
Making other people happy makes me happy. Yes, I am fully aware of how cheesy and naive that sounds, but it's true. I am a people-pleaser. 100%. I will put other people's needs and wants ahead of my own, just to make them happy. I will give and give with no expectations, other than a reciprocated friendship, and I'm okay with that, because that's how I show people I care about them. I'm not good with words, so I let my actions speak for me. However, I've come to the realization that I have become some people's doormat. I've hit my breaking point.
Now, before I go on any further, let it be known that I am blessed with amazing friends and family. Most of whom would do anything for me. This only pertains to a select few. I'm also not here to put anyone on "blast". In fact, I doubt they will even read this. This is merely a "vent session" as my friends and I like to call it.
Okay, now that I've gotten that out there, I can get back on topic. If ya'll don't mind, I'm going to use this next section as a letter to them, because let's be honest, I will probably never say anything about it, because I don't want to upset anyone. Yeah yeah, go ahead and call me a pushover or a Sally now, get it out of your system. :-P

Here goes nothing:
"I'm beginning to think you don't care at all. It only hurts because I care more than you could ever know. Making sure you are okay and happy isn't something I feel forced to do, it's something I want to do, because you mean the world to me. But, I HAVE to be done. I have to stop giving so much of my heart, time, and money, because I'm afraid I am going to lose myself in the process. All I ever wanted from you was a mutual and reciprocated friendship, but I'm aware now that you can't give me that. So, this is it. I have to walk away, not because I don't care, but because I care too much. I truly wish you nothing but the best, and I will always be here for you, but for now, I have back away."

With all that said, I will always be me. I will always be the girl who likes to give unexpected gifts, volunteer my time, treat people to dinner, drop anything for a friend in need, and care way more than my words will ever say. I like being the friend people know they can count on for anything, even if, at times, it comes at my own expense. However, the line has to be drawn somewhere, and today I am picking up my rock and drawing a line in the sand.

Want to play a game?

I thought I had escaped you for good.
Your face no longer flashes across my mind when I walk to my car alone.
The bruises are a distant memory.
Your degrating and insulting words have lost their sting.
I thought I was free.
I was wrong.

Your name and face popped up next to the "confirm" or "delete request" tabs.
My heart sank, my breath haulted, and once again you had control over me.
That night came rushing back.
The fear overcame me.
Every moment became unbearably real.

After the shock wore off, I regained my breath and remembered my strength.
I'm not fragile and I don't break easy.
I'm not running this time.
You want to play a game?
Game on.

I promise you, you'll lose.
I'm in charge.
You don't get to be in control.
I win the game this time.