What wins?

At what point does a person's heart and personality matter more than what they look like?

I've been having quite a few conversations lately about this subject matter, so I thought I would weigh in and give you my thoughts. Whether you want them or not.

Before you read any further, write down (or think of) a list of "must haves" when it comes to your spouse. How many of those "must haves" are based on a person's appearance? Now, how many are based on their character and personality? Did you list a preference for almost every physical attribute? EX: must have brunette hair, blue eyes, straight teeth, muscular build, abs, hair on their chest, etc... OR does your list look a little more like this: Must be able to make me laugh, love the outdoors, be a family man, humble, caring, giving, etc. Maybe your list is a combination of both, as I would guess is the case for the majority of you.

Here is my question for you though, based on the list you made, what attributes would you be willing to give up in order to find "the one"? This is just my opinion, but I would definitely let go of what I thought I wanted my spouse to look like, as opposed to who they are and what they value. Are you the same way? Or do you care a lot more about the way someone looks?

I'm not here to put anyone down for what they value when it comes to finding a significant other, however, I do think society and the media has put such a high value on a person's appearance, that we have forgotten to look a person's heart. Having a preference or a "type" is fine, but if it becomes the most important thing to you, then you have it all wrong. I hate to break it to you, but you can't grow old with someone's looks, you can, however, grow old with their heart and soul. Your spouse's looks are going to change, for better and worse, over the course of your marriage, but who they are will always remain the same.

Have you ever had a situation when you weren't particularly attracted to someone at first, but after spending time with them and getting to know them, they become so attractive in your eyes? I know I have. In fact, it has happened a couple of times. I was so wildly attracted to their heart and personality that their outward appearance became stunning to me as well. I truly believe that your attraction to someone can grow as you get to know them.

Is your checklist of what you are looking for in a spouse hindering you from finding "the one"? In some cases, I would venture to say it is. People have bought into what society is telling them. You must "look good" with your significant other and you must, first and foremost, be attracted to them. First of all, what is this crap about "looking good" with someone? I don't care if anyone else thinks my spouse and I " look good" together as long as we are attracted to and love one another. Now, don't get me wrong, I do believe there needs to be that level of attraction between the two people, whether it is established at first glance, or later down the line, but, how many of you have turned someone down strictly because they aren't your "type"? If you have, I think you are selling yourself short, and limiting your chances in finding the one you are meant to be with.

I encourage you to not hold so tightly to your "type" and open your heart to different kinds of people. You never know, you might be pleasantly surprised. Looks are not what make up who someone is, not matter how hard society and the media try to convince us otherwise.

What do you think? Weigh-in in the comment section below or on facebook. Single and married people alike, I would love your opinion on this matter.